On my desk I keep a Harry Browne quote: “When you know that you’re capable of dealing with whatever comes, you have the only security the world has to offer.” I have shared these words with many clients and have them on my desk to remind myself of how not to be afraid.
These words are built upon one of the key concepts of Solution Focused Brief Therapy: Build your confidence upon past strengths. One of the rewards of weathering storms in life is the confidence we gain in getting through difficulties by using creativity and “grit” to go forward. When I was watching the news about some of the families weathering the frigid weather in Texas this past week without electricity and running water, I heard of a family that had decided to burn their furniture to keep the fireplace going. No matter what other challenges this family may have to face in the future, the memory of how they got through it will strengthen them and put into perspective new challenges that arrive.
The other thing about “the only security” is that often our self confidence in meeting challenges happens with the support of those around us. There is nothing like a problem to build our confidence and remind us that while our sources of help often come from where we would expect, sometimes they do not. Total strangers may show up not only with cases of water and blankets, but with the comfort of presence and companionship.
It is sometimes hard to see the silver lining during a time of trouble, but it is easier when we know from experience and faith that we and those who are there to help are building “the only security the world has to offer.”