Expectations are a way of giving our power away. Whether or not we feel happy gets contingent on whether or not something we are thinking should happen actually happens. When I expect May to be warm and breezy because I have come to expect it to be that way, there’s serious discontent on the horizon as I grumble and move flower pots in and out and in and out of my garden. Hoping the weather will be favorable isn’t a happiness destroyer; expecting it to be is. Expectations live in the future while happiness awaits us in living in the present moment with all of its capacity to surprise and delight and strengthen us in ways we could not have imagined.
Becoming aware of expectations in relationships can be helpful in learning to ask for what we need and want instead of setting others up for failure when they do not accurately read our minds. In this way we can take responsibility for making ourselves happy and accepting the fact that while things don’t always go as we hope, it is not someone else’s fault. A “no” can be as good as a “yes” when we have learned that both are guidance and not a judgment on us or a determiner of our happiness.
Coming up is a holiday when we celebrate one of life’s primal relationships—with our mothers. For many this a fun day of honoring and being honored . For some, this is a bittersweet day, especially when focused through the lens of expectations. For some it is a chance to celebrate the nurturing we have received along the way, sometimes from those we would have least “expected” it.