For someone committed to problem solving, radical acceptance can seem like agreeing to something that seems totally unfair and unacceptable. Something in us wants to resist and even deny what we cannot change. It is a Las Vegas event of the heart when a senseless tragedy or circumstance leaves us without answers or recourse.
Radical acceptance is the moment of truth when we must come out of denial and admit that we are not in control of a situation that we completely reject but must learn to live with. Ironically, hope for a better future can increase once we have come to this point of peace.
Intelligent, radical acceptance does not feel the same as defeat. It sounds like, “It is what it is,” and “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can.”” It looks like disengaging from battles that can never be won. It is a letting go of the past and taking some first steps forward. When problem solving has been exhausted and reframing the situation has fallen short, radical acceptance is a decision we can choose to make. It is not an end, but a change of direction.