There is a particular feeling about coming home from a long trip. The trip may have been a grand adventure, and it may linger in memory for the rest of your life, but with all things considered, coming home represents the comfort of returning to your home base. If that feeling is missing, the message is to tweak or create a home base that provides a place of comfort and acceptance and safety and a reflection of what you value most in your life.
Home is not just about external surroundings. It is about our internal climate. The Buddhist saying that we are sky and the rest is weather is about having our “sky” clear and separate from the many changing “weather” patterns that affect us on a daily basis.
Finding our emotional sky requires rigorous honesty and the habit of being true to ourselves. Two of the problems that can interfere with a clear sky are lack of awareness and not taking time to think about our daily patterns. Living in clear sky requires something that may be called “examination of conscience” at the end of each day.
This is not a pass/fail test, but thinking about the patterns of the day as they stack up with who we authentically are and want to be. It is a process of internal feedback that we take time to give ourselves concerning two basic questions: Where have I been honest or dishonest and where have I been respectful or disrespectful? The qualities may be different for each person, but these two are very basic.
Once again, I think of my grandmother’s porch swing therapy, “Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.” Life is about creating the home we enjoy going out from and feel most comfortable returning to.