Creep

Last week I had cataract surgery.  The most amazing part of it was that I had been unaware as the fog had  been creeping up on me.  Once the cataract from the left eye had been removed, I could wink eyes and compare it with what I was still not seeing in the right eye,  I am looking forward to the next surgery for complete vision, but it was a powerful lesson for me in how gradually things can creep up on us , even when we think we are paying attention.

Many addictions seem to follow the creep pattern at first.  Excesses in eating, drinking, gambling, spending, may be noticeable in the beginning as physical and emotional “hangovers.”  In time, a pattern begins to set in that normalizes behaviors to the point where we no longer really see our lives clearly and problems beginning.  Only when something happens to disrupt the creeping pattern do we begin to feel the pangs and anxiety of withdrawal and begin to understand what has been going on.

Sometimes creep patterns happen in relationships.  At first there are isolated and even shocking incidents of disrespect for the other.  Whether hot as in name calling and hitting or cold as in neglect and withdrawal of affection, the pattern begins to reveal itself when we an no longer see what we once saw in another person and the relationship begins to unravel, stitch by stitch, until it can no longer be ignored.

The reversal of any creeping pattern requires its own type of “surgery” to bring us back to wholeness. Destructive patterns first have to stop and be replaced by patterns that build.   This takes insight and commitment as positive results often take time to become powerful enough to notice to keep us going on a new pattern.

It is a good thing to see and also to know what we may not be seeing.